With careful planning and prudent financial decisions, many Americans could retire before 65. The Onion weighs the pros and cons of such a decision:
PRO
Mystery of whether you’ll die above or below the poverty line finally revealed
Have ample time to visit parts of the world that will be underwater by the time your peers retire
Mid-afternoon dentist appointments a fucking breeze to schedule
Get to form bonds with the loved ones you neglected for years in dogged pursuit of early retirement
Contemplation of own mortality no longer restricted to evening hours
CON
Interest in some kind of hobby now mandatory
Earning potential the one thing you had to offer spouse, children
Your exit will skew the ideological composition of the court to the far right
The guys have one last job in the works, and it’s a big one
Life not all that great either way
