![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/c96db3ff7dd771c9312a2c796b67d305.jpg)
Gen Z Explains Why They Are ‘Resetting’ Their Virginity
Look, we’re not perverts. This is a real thing that members of Gen Z are doing. The Onion asked people in their late teens and 20s why they are “resetting” their virginity, and this is what they said.
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/ac3d5196d6662340420578b0feec67ea.jpg)
Present For Mom Immediately Used To Make Dad Meal
GENEVA, IL—Thanking her two children profusely for the lovely and thoughtful gift, local mom Tammy Idles immediately used a birthday present Monday to make her husband a meal.
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/6250a968c40e5954e28c220979c83924.jpg)
Ron DeSantis Going Door To Door To Beg Own Campaign Staff To Vote For Him
DES MOINES, IA—In a last-ditch effort to increase turnout for the crucial first-in-the-nation presidential contest, candidate Ron DeSantis reportedly went door-to-door Monday to beg his own campaign staff to vote for him.
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/5aa3f2d0f032124c33d0240d4def9785.jpg)
Larsa Pippen Confirms She’s Dating Michael Jordan’s Gym Bag
MIAMI—Addressing the swirling rumors about her love interest being closely associated with her ex-husband Scottie Pippen’s former NBA teammate, reality television personality Larsa Pippen released a statement Monday confirming that she’s dating Michael Jordan’s gym bag.
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/2dda25643342a87ac650250871f585e5.jpg)
Nursing Home Hires New Manager With 20 Years Of Elder Abuse Experience
BOSTON—Praising the 43-year-old’s lengthy record of misconduct and exploitation, local nursing home Sunrise Living reportedly hired manager Carl Strasberg Monday after discovering he had two decades of elder abuse experience.