Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends
When you first start dating a man, topics will inevitably arise that simply feel too gross, intimidating, or personal to discuss. The Onion answers every embarrassing sex question women wish they could ask their boyfriend.
Nation’s Strangers Announce Plans To Stand Near You
MILWAUKEE—Promising to violate any and all personal space, the nation’s strangers held a press conference Tuesday to announce their plan to stand near you.
FDA Confirms Safest Method Of Testing Food Temperature Sticking Finger Down Into Middle
WASHINGTON—Issuing a blanket recommendation for meat, poultry, seafood, and eggs, the Food and Drug Administration confirmed Tuesday that the best way to ensure food has been heated to a safe temperature is to stick a finger down into the middle to see if it’s still cold.
Gun Owners React To Wayne LaPierre Stepping Down
Headed to trial this week for alleged mismanagement and misappropriation of funds, Wayne LaPierre announced he was resigning as the National Rifle Association’s CEO. The Onion asked gun owners what they thought about LaPierre stepping down, and this is what they said.
Wealthy Dad Surprises Child With Tree House He Can Airbnb For Passive Income
WILMETTE, IL—Telling the child not to peek as they walked into the backyard, local wealthy man Kenneth Schweitz reportedly surprised his son Tuesday with a tree house that the young boy could Airbnb for passive income.
