You’re tired from a late night out with friends, and you have to be up for breakfast with your parents. Here are some ways to survive the day:
Give your bullwhip a few good cracks before leaving the house.
A spoon left in the freezer overnight is perfect for soothing puffy eyelids and will help you solve the mystery of where all your utensils ended up.
Rehearse phrases that will make you seem ahead of the game, like “I love you” and “Dad.”
Invite your wingman from the night before to make small talk with family members; reward him with the pick of your hottest cousins.
Slowly pour a pitcher of ice water down your boxer shorts. This is from a movie.
Your parents were young once, too. They’ll understand whatever lie you come up with to get out of it.
