Texas School’s Unbanned Books Down To 3 Copies Of Tom Clancy’s ‘Threat Vector’

SAN ANTONIO—Following the removal of thousands of volumes from the district’s shelves, sources confirmed Tuesday that Bradley Middle School’s unbanned books were down to three copies of Tom Clancy’s Threat Vector. “We feel fairly confident that there are no themes of wokeness or anti-racism in the 17th novel of the Jack Ryan series,” said North East Independent School District superintendent Sean Maika, who added that out of the complete collection of the school’s library books, textbooks, and reference materials, the 2012 techno-thriller was the sole book that stood up to the Texas school board’s scrutiny. “White students shouldn’t be made to feel lesser for the color of their skins; the only threat they should feel is from Ghost Ship cyber warfare militia leader Dr. Tong Kwok Kwan. Sure, we’ve heard some concerns from parents worried that the Chinese president’s suicide attempt is a little gruesome, but we think there are a lot of important lessons children can learn from Jack Ryan and the heroic secret operatives at the Campus.” At press time, school officials had reportedly banned the book due to incendiary comments made by President Jack Ryan’s chief of staff, Arnold van Damm.