Despite his terrifying grin and dead-eyed stare, internet personality MrBeast has over 218 million subscribers on YouTube alone. The Onion asked his teenage boy fan base why they idolize him, and this is what they said.
Eric Gonzales, 15
“Considering my other options were Logan Paul or Andrew Tate, he seemed like the least-worst choice.”
Benji Alvarez, 16
“He’s one of the few YouTubers I can watch without my girlfriend saying it’s a red flag.”
Cory Goodland, 14
“He’s like Jesus, in the sense that he helped some people and we have to hear about it forever.”
Steven Jones, 15
“Mostly because my brain won’t finish developing for another 10 years.”
Jason Turner, 17
“Maybe one day he’ll help fix the lead pipes in my hometown.”
Wes Reed, 16
“He really prepares me for life, like what I should do if I ever have no choice but to eat the world’s most expensive hot dog.”
Andy Brennan, 19
“Because he has friends. I’d like friends.”
Justin Hartley, 18
“He’s used rigorously tested algorithmic exploitation to maximize his appeal to me in a way I really relate to.”
Jackson Connelly, 13
“He is the second coming of Cara’me’teth, the world eater, whose coming was foretold and who will use his great influence and power to wipe civilization clean.”
Evan Berisford, 13
“Ever since I started eating his burgers, I don’t have to go to the bathroom anymore.”
Grayson Wilbur, 15
“He inspired me to give my sister $5 to live in the trunk of the car until February.”
Aaron Neely, 14
“A lot of us wonder how long we could last in a 50-gallon trash can filled with slime, but he’s brave enough to find out.”
Caleb Chaney, 15
“What kid doesn’t dream of hitting it big and moving to Greenville, North Carolina?”
Noah Smith, 13
“He has the word ‘beast’ right there in his name. It’s really not more complicated than that.”
Kayden Phillips, 13
“I have a passion for promotional content.”
Trevor Willis, 13
“I bet MrBeast’s Mom doesn’t have parental controls activated on his YouTube account.”
Shawn Prince, 15
“Worshipping him is my best chance of owning a house one day.”
