Tampon Shortage Solved After Woman Shakes Out Bag

HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA—Following weeks of low stock and empty shelves at many of the nation’s drugstores, the maker of Tampax products announced Thursday that the tampon shortage had been resolved after a local woman shook out her bag and rummaged through all the items that had accumulated inside it. “Thankfully, we have been able to source enough tampons from one woman’s purse to ease demand for the foreseeable future,” said a spokesperson for Procter & Gamble, confirming the industry’s supply chain issues were resolved when 25-year-old California native Claire McMahon fished a few Tampax supers from the bottom of her over-the-shoulder bag during a night out, and eventually decided to turn the whole thing over on a table to see what exactly she had in there. “All it took to solve this crisis was one single shake of a large leather Madewell bag, the contents of which we then passed along to distributors and retailers. Among the lipsticks, wallet, and loose pieces of gum were hundreds of thousands—if not millions—of tampons of all different sizes, scents, and brands. Ms. McMahon generously offered them to anyone who needed one, saying she got most of them for free anyway from the bathrooms of her office and gym.” At press time, McMahon told the nation to help themselves, but maybe don’t use the one that a granola bar melted on.