Stepping into the buzz of gaming celebrities, iconic designers, and voice actors on the floor at our first-ever gaming convention was enough to transform even the most self-serious gamer into an honest-to-god fangirl or fanboy. Here, we’ve compressed the most insane tidbits, quotes, and keynote excerpts into one slideshow that proves that the Onion Gamer Expo has established its place as the greatest convention in gaming history.
1.
“I appreciate that they’re testing attendees for coronavirus, I just wish they would use a different swab for each person.” — Expo attendee Amanda C.
2.
“Would you look at that detail. Wow. Breathtaking.” — Tim Sweeney, showing a nude model of himself in Unreal Engine 5
3.
“Frankly, I’m disappointed that the starting price is $500, but I’m still going to probably end up buying it.” — OGE attendee Helen Thomson, on the price of a hamburger at concession stands
4.
“Video games are back, baby!” — OGE event director Blake Zweibel to nobody in particular
5.
“Want to try something that’ll get you really fucked up?” — Hideo Kojima, on the plastic bag in his hand
6.
“My hotel said breakfast was included in the price, but it turns out that just means dry cereal and fruit. If you want eggs or even yogurt, that costs extra. This anger is exactly what I needed to make another Pikmin sequel though, so it’s kind of a win for me.” — Shigeru Miyamoto, on the hate that drives him
7.
“His name will simply be Roger from now on.” — Bungie CEO Pete Parsons, on renaming Master Chief
8.
“You see how excited they get and your heart just breaks a little. It’s clear this is all they have.” — Voice actor Troy Baker, on meeting fans
9.
“We’re sorry about the Joy-Con drift, but that’s just the way things go in life. Things slowly fall out of place. People drift away. You wake up one day and people you loved and trusted have strayed off.” — Shuntaro Furukawa, who is about to go into a whole thing about his son
10.
“Follow the rings! Follow the rings, you fools!” — Sonic The Hedgehog programmer Yuji Naka while being dragged from the Expo premises by security officers
11.
“I take it all back, any society that makes games like these is okay in my book!” — Ted Kaczynski, on how attending the Onion Gamers Expo has changed him
