Vol 56: Issue 38

Sports

‘If I Control Time, What Is It But A Mortal Man’s Hallucination Of The Possible?’ Thinks Solemn Ref Windmilling Clock To Start
Sports

Punter Likes To Pretend Coach’s Pregame Speech Meant For Him Too
American Voices, Opinion

Epic Games, Spotify, Match Group Band Together To Fight Apple’s App Store Policies
Politics

Reporter Presses Biden On Lack Of Own Plan To Trigger Widespread Violence
Politics

Tom Perez Warns He Will Detonate Explosive Vest At Midnight Unless Democrats Meet Fundraising Goal
News, News In Brief

Bill Barr Declares Ipswich Middle School Anarchist Jurisdiction After Finding ‘Circle-A’ Symbol Drawn On Notebook Cover
News, News In Photos

Police Department Reformed To Look More Like Community It Terrorizes
Local

‘I Can’t Wait For Things To Get Back To Normal,’ Says Woman Spending Friday Night Dining With Friends In Crowded Indoor Restaurant
American Voices, Opinion

Russia Arrests Cult Leader ‘Jesus Of Siberia’
OGN

Most Anticipated Games Of The Fall
Politics

Fox News Slams Democrats For Repeatedly Attempting To Undermine Confidence In Autocratic System
American Voices, Opinion

California To Ban Sales Of New Gas-Powered Cars By 2035
News, News In Brief

Literary Journal Founded By Couple Of College Acquaintances To Cease Publication
News, News In Photos

Trump Pledges To Call For Violence Regardless Of Election’s Outcome
News, News In Brief

Undecided Voter Silently Crouching Inside Drain Pipe As Convoy Of Political Analysts Passes Overhead
News, News In Photos

Uncle Ben’s Unveils New Rorschach Mascot That Lets Consumers See Whatever They Want
Sports

Rob Manfred Confident MLB Doing Enough To Market Stars Like Mike Trout And The Japanese Guy

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