Vol 55: Issue 30

Local

4-Year-Old Convinced Father A Moron After 45th Consecutive Hide-And-Seek Victory
American Voices, Opinion

Instagram Begins Hiding Likes
News, News In Brief

Samin Nosrat Releases Updated Book ‘Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat, Marshmallow’ About The 5 Key Elements Of Good Cooking
Local

Customers Relieved To See Perky 7-Eleven Cashier’s Spirit Has Finally Been Crushed
American Voices, Opinion

Justice Department Resumes Capital Punishment After 2-Decade Hiatus
News, News In Brief

Russian Operative Disappointed Gerrymandering Taking All The Fun Out Of Hacking 2020 U.S. Election
News, News In Brief

New Tampax High-Speed Applicator Able To Launch Tampons Into Vagina At 500 MPH
News, News In Brief

Horrified Iowan Farmer Starts Breaking Out In Corn After Coming Into Direct Contact With Monsanto Crops
News, News In Brief

Man Flashes Hand Stamp To Bouncer Like Badge Of Field Agent Entering Crime Scene
OGN

Everything You Need To Know About ‘Wolfenstein: Youngblood’
Infographic, News

The Onion’s Guide To TikTok
American Voices, Opinion

India’s Chandrayaan-2 Mission Heading To Moon
Politics

Pelosi Concerned Outspoken Progressive Flank Of Party Could Harm Democrats’ Reputation As Ineffectual Cowards
Entertainment

‘Space Jam 2’ Taps Mahershala Ali To Play LeBron James
Local

Sun Setting Over Tropical Beach Kind Of Beautiful In Its Own Way
News, News In Brief

Catholic Church Not About To Be Out-Molested By Goddamn Boy Scouts
American Voices, Opinion

Boris Johnson To Be Next U.K. Prime Minister

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