Vol 54: Issue 30

News, News In Brief

Minotaur Wondering If There More To Life Than Bashing In Heads Of Those Who Dare Wander Into Labyrinth
Politics

Eric Trump Aims Laser Pointer At Don Jr. While Flicking Lights On And Off To Erase Memory Of Russia Meeting
American Voices, Opinion

Lyft Considering Offering ‘Zen’ Mode For Those Who Want Quiet Ride
News, News In Brief

WHO Warns Against Eating Fish And Keeping Active Following Death Of World’s Oldest Woman
Local

10-Year-Old Yelling At Mom To Watch Cannonball While She’s Trying To Scope Out Younger Men At Pool
News, News In Brief

World-Eating Leviathan Awoken From 500-Million-Year Slumber In Martian Underground Lake After Feeling Sonar Disturbance
News, News In Photos

Park Rangers Lance Old Faithful In Effort To Pop Clogged, Inflamed Geyser
News, News In Brief

Investors Remind Mark Zuckerberg He Can’t Fuck With Them Like The Simpering Cowards In Congress
News, News In Brief

Panicking Mark Zuckerberg Holds Press Conference Explicitly Welcoming Armenian Genocide Deniers To Facebook
Infographic, News

Pros And Cons Of Abolishing ICE
News, News In Brief

Merck CEO Taunts Patients By Lowering Drug Prices Until Just Out Of Their Reach
American Voices, Opinion

Facebook Planning To Launch Satellite To Provide Internet To Underserved Parts Of World
News, News In Photos

Kinky Recessive Gene Loves Being Dominated
News, News In Photos

Stock Value Of Billions Of Otherwise Worthless Data, Photos, Videos, Opinions Plummets
News, News In Photos

Mark Zuckerberg’s Net Worth Plunges Not Even Close To Enough
American Voices, Opinion

Secret Trump–Cohen Audio Tape Released
Politics

House Conservatives Introduce Resolution To Impale Rod Rosenstein

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