Vol 54: Issue 29

News, News In Brief

New ICE Agent Establishes Dominance By Beating Up Biggest Child Prisoner On First Day
Politics

Trump, Putin Hold First Joint Press Crackdown
Politics

Poll Finds 97% Of Americans Don’t Know Who Donald Trump Is
Local

Bodybuilder Strong, But Now What?
News, News In Brief

Elon Musk Insists He’d Be Much More Innovative Pedophile Than Thailand Rescue Worker
Local

Report: Therapist Just Saying That To Make You Feel Better
Local

Total Idiot Resorting To Tribalism Decades Before Climate Catastrophe Makes It Necessary
News, News In Brief

Hundreds Of Rowdy Starship Crews Disembark In NYC During Intergalactic Fleet Week
Entertainment

The Week In Pictures – Week Of July 16, 2018

Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault

Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in human history.

Explore More

Historical front pages from The Onion's historical archive.