Vol 52: Issue 31

Sports

A-Rod’s Number Reissued Immediately After Game
Sports

Yankees Honor Retiring A-Rod With 3-Second Tribute Video
American Voices, Opinion

Greenland Shark Could Be 500 Years Old
Sports

Yankees Sign A-Rod To 10-Year, $420 Million Front Office Consultant Contract
News, News In Brief

New Biblical Text Reveals God First Sent Christ To Save Elk As Practice
Sports

A-Rod Retires: Looking Back At The Greatest Player In Biogenesis History
Local

Dad Immediately Develops Deep Friendship With Guy Giving Quote On Replacing Windows
Local

Mentally Unbalanced Man Still Waiting For The Right Trump Comment To Incite Him
American Voices, Opinion

Capping Pollution Could Save Thousands Of Lives
American Voices, Opinion

Man Arrested For Scaling Trump Tower
Politics

Trump’s Prefrontal Cortex Admits It Can’t Possibly Filter All Impulsive Comments Coming From Rest Of Brain
News, News In Brief

Queen Elizabeth Hoping She Dies Before Having To Knight Any DJs
News, News In Brief

Hostage With Family Really Lording It Over Everyone Else
Sports

Ryan Lochte Admits Olympic Pool Much Wetter Than He Remembered
American Voices, Opinion

Book Lovers Might Live Longer
News, News In Brief

Report: Some People Actually Very Happy
Entertainment

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

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