Vol 51: Issue 10

Sports

BYU Fans Rush CBS Broadcasting Studio Following Upset Selection Into NCAA Tournament
Entertainment

Vin Diesel Puts On 35 Pounds Of Bone For Upcoming Role
American Voices, Opinion

Photographer Sparks Backlash For Wrapping Baby In American Flag
Sports

Peter King Realizes Fight With Wife Really About Disappointment In Raiders’ Offseason Moves
Local

Unlikely Team Of Allies Unite To Take On Airport Gate Agent
American Voices, Opinion

Report: Texas Down To Last Lethal Injection Dose
Local

Man’s Bloodstream Enjoys Hour-Long Intermission Between Coffee, Alcohol Blitzes
Entertainment, Magazine

Travel Issue: Cincinnati In Just 300 Days
American Voices, Opinion

High School Seniors Vote For Communism-Themed Prom
Sports

Fantasy Baseball Commissioner Plumbs Deepest Depths Of Friend Circle To Find 12th Participant
News, News In Brief

Texas Now Regretting Wasting Doses Of Pancuronium Bromide On Innocent Guys Back In 1997, 2000, 2004
Sports

Notable Moves In NFL Free Agency
News, News In Brief

Relieved Malia Obama Quietly Thanks Secret Service Agents For Taking Rap For Her
News, News In Brief

Wall Street Firm Develops New High-Speed Algorithm Capable Of Performing Over 10,000 Ethical Violations Per Second
American Voices, Opinion

Burger King Quietly Drops Soda From Kids’ Menu
Local

High Schooler Promises To Have Man’s Impregnated Daughter Home By Midnight
News, News In Brief

Study Finds Swans Only Other Animals Who Mate For Few Years, Get Scared, End Things, Then Regret It

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