Vol 50: Issue 40

American Voices, Opinion

Life Expectancy In U.S. Hits Record High
American Voices, Opinion

Malala Yousafzai Becomes Youngest-Ever Nobel Peace Prize Winner
News, News In Brief

Pandering Nobel Peace Prize Committee Honors Global Harmony Again
News, News In Brief

Kim Jong-Un’s Absence Leaves North Korean Government Officials No One To Agree With
Sports

Fantasy Football Week 6: Start ’Em, Sit ’Em
Local

Man, Woman Experiencing 2 Very Different Sexual Tensions
Dispatch, News

Ambitious New High-Speed Rail Plan Will Fly Americans To Japan To Use Their Trains
Local

Coworkers Each Putting In Herculean Effort To Sustain Conversation For Entire Commute
Sports

Report: More NFL Stadiums Cutting Off Fights After Third Quarter
Entertainment, Magazine

Floor Lamps Of The Big Ten
American Voices, Opinion

Killer Whales Able To Emulate Dolphin ‘Speech’
American Voices, Opinion

Paul Feig To Make All-Female ‘Ghostbusters’
Infographic, News

Where Is Kim Jong-Un?
Local

Pastor Always Knew Agnostic Would Come Crawling Back To Church For Wedding
News, News In Brief

Report: Increasing Number Of U.S. Toddlers Attending Online Preschool
Politics

Congress Waiting Until After Midterms To Address Nationwide Plague Of Hornets
Sports

Fan Vows To Donate Brain Subjected To Hundreds Of Titans Games

Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault

Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in human history.

Explore More

Historical front pages from The Onion's historical archive.