Vol 46: Issue 51

Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

Super Monkey Collider Loses Funding
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

Voice-Activated GPS System Takes 'Top Gun' Soundtrack Fan Into The Danger Zone
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

Robot Salesman Practically Sells Itself
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

Internet Collapses Under Sheer Weight Of Baby Pictures
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

Dead IPod Remembered As Expensive
Sports

On The Year In International Sports
Local

Area Man Goaded Into Climbing Mount Everest
Sports

On The Year In Hockey
Local

Typo Results In 10,000-Acre Skate Park
Politics

Census Finds Enough Homeless People Living In Public Library To Warrant Congressional District
Sports

On The Year In Football
Local

Christian Weightlifter Bends Iron Bar To Demonstrate Power Of God's Love
Sports

On The Year In Baseball
Local

Governor Of Alabama Injured Imitating Pro Wrestling
Sports

On The Year In Basketball
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

NFL Linebacker Faces Suspension For Genocide
Sports

No One Knows Who Female Star Athlete In Nike Commercial Is

Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault

Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in human history.

Explore More

Historical front pages from The Onion's historical archive.