Vol 45: Issue 1

American Voices, Opinion

Testosterone Patch Revives Female Sex Drive
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

Roomba Continues Gathering Evidence Against Human Captor
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

Bomb Sniffing Dog Humps Bomb Defusing Robot
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

Voice Recognition Software Yelled At
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

Super Bladder Improves Urination Process
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

Super Monkey Collider Loses Funding
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

NASA Baffled By Failure Of Straw Shuttle
Cartoons, Opinion

Editorial Cartoon – December 29, 2008
Entertainment

The Technology Issue In Review
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

New U.S. Military Helicopter Too Beautiful To Use In Combat
Entertainment, Time Killers

Least Popular Widgets
American Voices, Opinion

Teens Ignore Mobile-Phone Laws
Commentary, Opinion

This International Space Station Is A Pig Sty
Infographic, News

Facebook's Popular Applications
Politics

Clinton Unveils New Prize Hopping Toad
Politics

Free Agent Clinton Signs 5-Year, $37 Million Deal With Argentina
Politics

Clinton Written Up By Total Bitch Supervisor

Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault

Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in human history.

Explore More

Historical front pages from The Onion's historical archive.