Vol 44: Issue 37

Entertainment

Gadgets
Entertainment

The Week In Review
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

New Wolverines Mascot Savagely Mauls Star Player
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

Minister Constantly Mentions Teenage Son's Virginity
Local

Woman Always Really Excited To Be In Whatever Relationship Status She's Currently In
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

Bakery Closing Nets Man Ton Of Free Eclairs
Interactive, Politics

Inside Obama's Emails
Politics

McCain's Energy Plan Emphasizes Elbow Grease, Sleeve-Rolling-Up
Local

Another Small Town With Fucked-Up Shit Beneath The Surface
Politics

Ron Paul Endorses Third Parties
Onion Public Radio, Podcasts

Plastic Surgeon Shows Off Collection Of Famous Nose Cartilage
Politics

Obama Suddenly Panicked After Gazing Too Far Into Future
News, News In Brief

Nation Hit Hard
Sports

Bored Man To Participate In 2,200 Mile Bike Race
Sports

Female Fans Out For Season With Tom Brady's Knee Injury
Sports

Mets Invite Phillies Back To Shea Stadium For A Nightcap
Sports

Chinese Womens' Paralympic Team Under Investigation For Having Arms, Legs

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