If you live in America, chances are that you either know someone who has experienced a mass shooting or have experienced one yourself. The Onion asked survivors what it’s like to endure a mass shooting, and this is what they said.
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/1fe24668b28addb192b519da55841eb6.jpg)
James Patel, Engineer
“Well, I sure as fuck saw what all the fuss was about AR-15s.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/cc1a0e3779c9649ee09fb1a09d4bec31.jpg)
Regina Franklin, Executive Assistant
“It makes you really appreciate how free we are as a country when you’re hiding under a desk with bullets flying over your head.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/757c777d9d1736c9f91946050a77c637.jpg)
Javier Cruz, Police Officer
“Those 15 minutes standing a safe distance away from the school while the suspect finished shooting were the most harrowing of my life.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/b7b07f4752f251e29a0ba3995f946c64.jpg)
Mark Jones, Crisis Actor
“As far as being a paid crisis actor, it’s a pretty stable gig.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/ebd5cb8bfc36bf7630592f2b13168596.jpg)
Rep. Steve Scalise (R-LA)
“There’s nothing like a brush with death to remind you that all your previously held beliefs are correct and should not be questioned.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/c27ad7f42da477c3e0cd8ed8dbfd6123.jpg)
Bill Werner, Counselor
“It’s easy to feel like you’re alone, but thankfully our lawmakers are working hard to ensure that our community of survivors grows bigger every year!”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/848185fa9045b0f6f1d9bf118a7fba54.jpg)
Tiffany Lo, Web Designer
“I saw two children’s skulls blown open by AR-15 rounds right in front of me, so overall, I’d say it was bad.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/defabe18b2ef6c7d809c1054014a477e.jpg)
Kareem Jacobs, Department Store Greeter
“My boss let me use one of my three unpaid sick days to get sewed up.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/6ebe1d8e88edf12d1c94e4aa9c661878.jpg)
Heather Rolfe, Process Engineer
“As I was leaving the hospital, Mitch McConnell pretended to bump into me and whispered into my ear, ‘I’ll get you eventually.’”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/ac397e6698cc9aa3d6405775cf95d403.jpg)
Lillian Reed, Fast Food Cook
“Everyone is really understanding for 48 hours, and then your boss will threaten to fire you if you take another day off.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/8ec5a66221792be24e273225a5fde0bc.jpg)
Sara Patel, Seventh-Grade Student
“The flashbacks break up the monotony of the school day.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/d51eada673b97c0aac108350eb1c9abf.png)
Heather Kline, Homemaker
“Only two of my three kids came home from school, but Texas has no property taxes, so it’s a wash.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/65d6387febf75af01579b35dc70735a8.jpg)
Katherine Chan, Librarian
“I was proud to be experiencing the free exercise of American constitutional rights.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/8408d189965ad5ae59b752b3f9d9d10e.jpg)
Greg Simmons, Mechanic
“I’m just glad I could help someone feel so powerful.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/dd97cae298c8ff2ef24a294820b17e1b.png)
James Driscoll, Theater Usher
“Thanks to Ted Cruz’s thoughts and prayers, my PTSD was healed, and I didn’t need therapy one bit.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/06b2e1c6749f1ca2a6771463543c679c.jpg)
Marcie Brewer, Web Developer
“I don’t know what you might’ve heard, but it really sucks.”
![The Onion](/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/b97f91e19e79cf16a480868d14593863.jpg)
Roberto DeSilva, Attorney
“Just wait a few months, and you’ll probably find out for yourself.”