Survey Finds Nearly 6 In 10 Wealthy Americans Living Fraud To Fraud

WASHINGTON—Noting that the most opulent were under constant pressure to make cons meet, a survey by the Pew Research Center released Monday revealed that nearly six in 10 wealthy Americans are living fraud to fraud. “Burdened by the escalating need to line their pockets, affluent Americans are increasingly forced to live from one criminal deception to another,” said lead researcher Alexis Spence, explaining that the situation has become so dire that many rich people don’t even know where their next scam will come from. “Try as they might to stretch out every last penny from their deceits, it’s often just not enough for them to afford their immeasurable luxuries. Some well-to-do citizens must even go so far as to take on two grifts at once.” At press time, Washington stepped in with a new government-subsidized fraud to help support struggling robber barons.