Study: Most Honking Drivers Just Excited To See Shiny Cars

WASHINGTON—Shedding light on an experience common among commuters nationwide, a U.S. Department of Transportation study released Wednesday found that most honking drivers were just excited to see shiny cars. “Contrary to popular assumptions, our findings suggest that drivers mostly use their horns to express their strong enthusiasm for seeing so many big, shiny cars on the road,” said study co-author Harold Singh, describing how many drivers went on to let go of the steering wheel entirely in order to clap their hands while exclaiming, “Shiny car! Shiny car! Shiny car! Yay!” “Cars that go fast, cars with big wheels, cars that go beep-beep—these are the central reasons why most drivers honk their horns on highways or while stuck in traffic. So there’s really no reason to be offended. It’s actually a bit endearing. Sometimes these drivers are so enthused that they switch between lanes to chase down a car, all the while shouting, ‘Yippee! Nice pretty car!’ and drooling on themselves.” Singh went on to warn of the dangers of crashes caused by such drivers repeatedly smashing their heads against the horn in elation and wildly swerving around the road.