Study: American Spiritual Epiphanies Increasingly Juice-Based

LOS ANGELES—American spiritual epiphanies are becoming increasingly juice-based, according to a report released Tuesday by the UCLA Department of Theology. “In the past, spiritual awakenings usually revolved around religious faith or personal convictions,” the report read. “But today, Americans are turning to the healing and enriching power of such tea and fruit-juice blends as Fruitopia ’Strawberry-Passion Awareness’ and Sobe’s ’Wisdom’ and ’Zen Blend,’ for their spiritual fulfillment.” Following the report, Ocean Spray announced plans for a line of Zoroastrian grape-cranberry blends.