The nation awaits Martha Stewart’s June 17 sentencing, which will reveal how much time she spends in prison. What do you think?
“Martha’s headed to jail? Her emotions must be running the gamut from taut-lipped pseudo-WASP rage to unhealthy denial.”
Bruce Bennett • Systems Analyst
“She’s just going to learn how to be a better insider trader from all the other inmates.”
Kathy Henderson • Secretary
“I’ll be able to sleep easier knowing that another motivated, powerful woman is off the streets.”
Steve Woods • Referee
“It’s about time we cracked down on white-collar criminals without political connections.”
Willi Cooper • Usher
“The woman is about to go to prison, yet her site still charges 39 bucks for a goddamn egg-shaped beeswax candle?”
Beverly Ross • Window Trimmer
“Hey, did anyone say how funny it would be if Martha decorated her jail cell in some elaborate way? Oh.”
Nicholas Coleman • Anesthesiologist
