Startling Evidence Finds Pentagon Failed To Stop Pakistani Wedding Despite Prior Knowledge

WASHINGTON—Calling into question the Defense Department’s tactical readiness, startling evidence released Friday revealed that the Pentagon failed to stop a Pakistani wedding despite prior knowledge that it would occur. “It’s deeply troubling to learn that top Pentagon officials knew in advance that Pakistani couple Ali Aslam and Abida Khan would pledge their love to each other at a wedding venue outside Islamabad and did nothing to prevent it,” said CREW spokesperson Katherine Antwerp of the declassified documents showing that the Pentagon had intercepted wedding invitations and guest lists weeks before the ceremony took place and failed to implement a military plan to take out any members of the procession with extreme prejudice. “It isn’t enough that Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin discussed tactical drone strike against the gathered loved ones. There were dozens of high-ranking family members in attendance who could have been apprehended by our military. Our security officers knew the wedding’s date. They knew what was on the registry. They even knew what was being served for dessert. And yet they sat idly by while these people danced the night away and gave well wishes to the happy couple. How can the American people ever trust them again?” At press time, the Pentagon had denied wrongdoing in the incident, stressing that their forces had been engaged at the time in bombing a kindergarten classroom.