Spirit Who Caught Typhus En Route To Siege Of Antioch Figures It Simpler Just To Say He Died In The Crusades

PERDITION—While admitting that the explanation was not technically true, 943-year-old spirit Brictric of Waddesdon confirmed Tuesday that he had found it simpler to just tell fellow denizens of the afterlife that he died in the Crusades despite actually catching typhus en route to the Siege of Antioch. “Sure, it isn’t the whole truth, per se, but telling everyone I meet that I passed away from typhus during our march through Anatolia will just raise more questions than it answers,” said the incorporeal spirit, adding that his “white lie” was purely for the sake of convenience and that it did nothing to take away from the brave sacrifices of Crusaders who had actually died in the attempted conquest of the Holy Lands for all faithful Christians. “Let’s be clear, though. I was absolutely going to fight and die for the king’s honor. Unfortunately, typhus was just how most people died in those days.” At press time, Brictric was rapidly backpedaling after an enthusiastic Flemish cavalryman who had been immolated in a torrent of hot oil at Antioch asked which brigade he served in.