Spatter Analyst Finally Working With Blood After Years Paying Dues With Urine

NEW YORK—Happy to move on to the next phase of her career, Nicole Marinos, a spatter analyst with the New York Police Department, told reporters Monday that she has finally started working with blood after years of paying her dues working with urine. “It’s nice to finally move onto more important forensics work after spending a decade at crime scenes methodically studying urine stain patterns,” said Marinos, explaining how you really have to hone your craft investigating patterns of piss splash on various surfaces before you’re trusted to analyze blood. “A lot of folks in this business end up bottoming out as pee collectors, and I knew I wanted to avoid that. All those nights spent up late in the lab looking at urine from different angles really paid off, ’cause now I’m hanging with the big dogs.” Marinos confirmed that in a few years, she hopes to fulfill her ultimate dream by working her way up to analyzing cum spatter.