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South Carolina Protecting Voters From Covid-19 By Erecting Plexiglass Barrier Around Entire Urban Polling Place

CHARLESTON—In a move designed to protect voters from spreading the novel coronavirus, the South Carolina Election Commission announced Friday that urban polling places would feature large plexiglass barriers around the entire building. “With election day fast approaching, voters should feel safe knowing that each polling location will be surrounded by a hermetically sealed, clear plastic cube that is totally impenetrable to anything, including Covid-19,” said SEC spokesperson Jen Gardena, adding that the ingenious design reduced virus transmission by almost 100%, because the thick plastic shields would feature no cracks, doors, or windows. “With millions of people looking to cast their vote in person, we believe it is our duty to ensure no South Carolina resident can enter these dangerous polling places, and thus transmit the virus. This November, we hope our turn out, and transmission, is at zero.” At press time, residents of South Carolina had reported seeing several plexiglass barriers surrounding both mailboxes and ballot drop boxes.




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper