Sobriety Completely Changes Way Man Gains Weight

CHICAGO—Opening up about how much different his life is these days, local man Brian Hinsdale told reporters Tuesday that his newfound sobriety had completely changed the way he gains weight. “For years, anytime I started putting on the pounds, it was because of how much beer I was drinking, but now that happens as a result of all the extra snacks I’m compulsively eating,” said the 36-year-old with more than 11 months of sobriety under his belt, adding that if it weren’t for the support of friends and family, he never would have been able to quit alcohol and replace the empty calories in his diet with salty, fatty foods and sugary treats. “I used to feel puffy and bloated all the time, and it’s no wonder, considering I would come home from the office, sit down on the couch, and work my way through a six-pack of IPA before bed. Nowadays, I step on my bathroom scale and see I’m getting the exact same results by methodically consuming a sleeve or Oreos or a 10-ounce bag of Doritos each night. I have so much more clarity every morning when I wake up feeling like shit, and I’m thankful for that.” Hinsdale went on to credit his Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor for reminding him to appreciate the small things in life, like how good prepackaged donuts from a convenience store could be.