Skunk Forced To Bluff Way Through Encounter With Dog After Realizing There’s Nothing Left In Chamber

CLEVELAND—Grimly aware that confidence was the only thing standing between him and certain death, a local skunk reportedly realized Thursday that he was going to have to bluff his way through an encounter with a dog now that he had nothing left in the chamber. “Easy does it, just act cool and we’re all going to get out of this just fine,” said the skunk to himself, struggling to keep from shaking as he pointed his empty scent gland towards his adversary. “Don’t break eye contact or show any signs of weakness. For all he knows, you’re loaded for bear and ready to blast his ass into next week—of course, if he finds out about all the rounds I just fired into that family of raccoons, I’m fucking done for.” At press time, the skunk was reportedly sweating profusely and moving his tail from side to side as several more dogs began to circle him.