Side Effects Sound Awesome

SAN JOSE, CA–Watching a TV commercial for the prescription allergy medication Nasonol, local resident Troy Henderson, 23, remarked Tuesday that the drug’s possible side effects “sound awesome.” “Dizziness, drowsiness, excitability, loss of motor function, irregular heartbeat, tingling sensations in the chest and sinuses–man, Nasonol’s got it all,” Henderson said. “I gotta score some of that.” Henderson, who does not suffer from any allergies, said he plans to call his pollen-allergic friend Steve to “hook me up.”