Sheepish Secret Service Agent Can't Explain How Vacuum Cleaner Salesman Got Into Oval Office

WASHINGTON, DC—Secret Service agent Martin Bowhan was unable to explain to his direct superior how Electrolux sales representative Don Karn managed to breach White House security Monday. “[Karn] said that he needed to speak to the president, and before anyone could stop him, he strolled right into the Oval Office,” Bowhan said. “I burst in there to find him dumping red wine, mud, and some blue liquid onto the rug, which was a personal gift from Chinese president Chiang Kai-shek to President Nixon. I have to admit that the stains did come out quickly and easily.” While escorting Karn out of the building, Bowhan made payment arrangements for the Aptitude ultra-quiet upright vacuum the president had ordered.