‘She’s Going To Regret All Those Once She Gets Older,’ Says Man Watching Tattooed Woman Push Stroller Of Kids

COLUMBUS, OH—Shaking his head and sighing at the heavily tattooed woman across the park, local 51-year-old Michael Wagner reportedly stated “She’s going to regret all those once she gets older” Tuesday while gesturing at her kids. “Even now, most of them are pretty ugly—just think how bad they’re going to look in 20 years,” said Wagner, who cast a judgmental gaze at the “tacky” and “pointless” children in the stroller as he speculated on what could have possibly driven the woman to make such an irreversible and reckless mistake. “It’s something you do when you’re young and stupid, but you pay for it later. Just because they seem cool now doesn’t mean she’ll still like them in a few years. You can tell she used to be very beautiful, too, but not with all of those. Yuck. I guess she must have been super drunk. How can she even get a job with all those?” At press time, Wagner added that while there were ways to get rid of them, he knew from experience how expensive that could be.