![](/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/kboqve4omuldjil0wdm0.jpg)
Paul Newman, the last universally beloved man, died at the age of 83 after a private battle with lung cancer. He is survived by legions of partly or wholly unlikable human beings, who will invariably besmirch his memory by selling his likeness to a vacuum cleaner company. |
![](/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dgn5nwb2x5bxjcallhig.jpg)
Boris Fyodorov, 50, Russian politician and banker, died of a “stroke.” |
![](/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/ugoofvjfzrdbq6zazdbl.jpg)
Legendary film star Charlton Heston passed away in April at age 84. He is survived by five guns, 14 grand guns, and 11 great-grand guns. |
![](/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/zwsrolnetbfuuvkmxief.jpg)
Chess prodigy Bobby Fischer passed away in Rejykjavíak, Iceland after developing a new chess move that was so genius his brain exploded. |
![](/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dj6pyoyti59xwttnwb1u.jpg)
Mary Garber, an American sportswriter, passed away this September. She was 92. This only goes to prove that women know nothing about sports. |
![](/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/rgaglkeparhfalchuoat.jpg)
Game designer Gary Gygax died in his parents dungeon after a lengthy battle with a manticore. |