Saints Trip To Super Bowl Actually Best Thing That Has Ever Happened To New Orleans

NEW ORLEANS—City officials confirmed Monday that the Saints’ historic first-ever trip to a Super Bowl would in fact be the best thing that had happened to the city in its long and tragic history. “This is a proud town, a good town, but you have to admit that we’ve had many more bad times than good,” said Mayor Ray Nagin, noting among other things the Battle of New Orleans, which took place unnecessarily after the War of 1812 had ended; the massive political corruption that marked most of the 20th century; the presence of Anne Rice and the resulting rise of vampire fiction; the devastation wrought by Hurricanes Betsy, Rita, and Katrina; and the establishment in the city of the New Orleans Saints, perhaps the most frustrating football team of all time. “Okay, we have a great jazz scene here, and we throw a huge annual party, but it’s about time we had something more than that.” Mayor Nagin also noted that it was a kind of comfort to know that, if the Saints lost the Super Bowl, it would hardly be the worst thing that had ever happened to the city.