Rockets’ Mop Guy Can Tell This Game Going To Be A Sweaty One

HOUSTON—Assessing the perspiration dripping off the players while waiting for the next time-out, the Houston Rockets’ mop guy Kyle Collins could already tell Tuesday that Game 4 against the Utah Jazz was going to be a sweaty one. “We’re only five minutes in, [James] Harden is just drenched, and inside the paint is already slick—looks like I’m in for a big night,” said Collins while intently watching an expanding sweat mark form on Donovan Mitchell’s back and pointing out a slick spot near half court to fellow mop guy Derrick Farley. “I’ve gotta be on top of my game. We’re looking at near halftime levels of sweat out here already. Both teams are pretty moist and sticky, and Gerald [Green] looks like he fell in a lake. This is the kind of sweat you prepare for your whole career.” Collins predicted that at this rate of sweat production, he was going to go through three mop heads before the end of the game.