Revlon Unveils New Age-Defying Monster Makeup

NEW YORK—Declaring that the search was over for those looking to attain a more youthful, unnatural appearance, Revlon unveiled Tuesday a new cutting-edge line of age-defying monster makeup. “The anti-aging Franken-makeup line provides full coverage so your face can be smooth, spotless, and incredibly terrifying,” said Revlon spokesperson Janine Adderley, adding that the cosmetics product was specially formulated to minimize fine lines and wrinkles, providing a flawless, vibrant, and truly ghoulish finish. “The new concealer comes in a variety of sickly green and gray tones to perfectly complement your supernatural coloring, and it includes anti-aging properties that diminish unsightly undereye bags and blemishes. We recommend using it in combination with Revlon’s crease-filling Reanimation Primer to provide a long-lasting effect that helps make peeling, undead skin appear fresh all day long.” Revlon also announced plans to introduce a new line of Lycan-haircare products for fuller, shinier fur for werewolves.