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Research Indicates Viagra Might Help Combat Alzheimer’s

New research from scientists in the U.K. indicates that older men taking Viagra are 18% less likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease, with the researchers speculating that because the medication relaxes blood vessels, it could be improving blood flow in the brain as well as other areas of the body. What do you think?

 Douglas Leith, Anchovy Salter

“I’ll do anything to make sure my erections don’t get Alzheimer’s.”

 Douglas Leith, Anchovy Salter

Rahul Dorsey, Infant Counselor

“I knew my natural gift of maintaining solid, long-lasting erections would one day come back to haunt me.”

Rahul Dorsey, Infant Counselor

Ivan Israni, unemployed

“Good. What a tragedy it would be to become rock hard but fail to remember what a boner does.”

Ivan Israni, unemployed




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper