Report: Researcher Has To Step Away For Minute But Feel Free To Grab Either Cookie Or Carrots

STANFORD, CA—Explaining that she had to take care of something in the other room, research psychologist Andrea Hamaker reportedly had to step away for a minute Thursday, but she told study participant Kyle Meyer that he should feel free to grab either a cookie or carrots. “I have to duck out for a moment before we begin the experiment, but please help yourself to either the cookies or the carrots on the table in front of you,” said Hamaker, who emphasized that she would be closing the door behind her and that no one else would be entering the room or checking on Meyer for the next 15 minutes or so. “And just to be clear, you’re welcome to have all the cookies or carrots you want, but not both. Anyhow, make yourself at home, and we’ll get started with the experiment as soon as I get back. My apologies for the delay.” At press time, sources confirmed a stunned Hamaker returned to the room to find all the food gone, the table smashed, and the participant banging on the room’s two-way mirror as he demanded more to eat.