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Report: 70% Of Republicans Believe Election Hasn’t Happened Yet

‘How Can You Declare A Winner Before A Single Vote Is Cast?’ Ask GOP Voters

The Onion

WASHINGTON—Spurred by President Donald Trump’s own refusal to accept the results, a new report issued by the Pew Research Center Tuesday found that 70% of Republicans believe the U.S. election hasn’t happened yet. “It just doesn’t make sense—the major news networks are saying Joe Biden is the winner, but how can a winner be determined if no one’s had the chance to vote yet?” said respondent Neal Cooke, who echoed the concerns of the majority of conservatives surveyed in calling upon Fox News to retract their presidential election results while as many as 150 million votes remained uncounted. “Frankly, it’s way too early to call any states, considering Election Day hasn’t arrived. It’s not the mainstream media’s job to declare whether or not an election has occurred. That will be for the Supreme Court to decide. President Trump has every right not to concede an election that hasn’t even been held regardless of how happy we are of the gains we’ve made in the House.” At press time, a new report found 80% of Republicans refused to acknowledge Joe Biden was ever a presidential candidate at all.