Queen Elizabeth Scolds Prince Andrew For Having Sex With Minors Outside Of Royal Bloodline

LONDON—Disappointed in her son for not keeping the family in mind, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II reportedly scolded her son Prince Andrew this week for having sex with minors outside the royal bloodline. “It is none of my business if you wish to consort with teenagers, but for God’s sake, at least find a girl within our family’s lineage,” the monarch said in admonishing the Duke of York, who is being sued for his alleged sexual assault of an underage victim who is not in the line of succession to any throne in Europe or even a member of the British peerage. “I don’t see why you’re getting mixed up with these commoners when you have a perfectly good 14-year-old cousin in the Netherlands who’s a duchess. All you had to do was ask, and your father and I would have been glad to arrange it.” According to sources, Elizabeth later sighed and added that she was at least thankful the underage American girl her son slept with had not been Black.