BUTNER, NC—Gathering in a circle as they admired the neatly wrapped package, prison officials confirmed Monday that they had found a beautiful present left for them in the late Ted Kaczynski’s cell. “Well, how splendid—he left us a little farewell gift,” said correctional officer Sean Arndt, who expressed his delight and surprise that the man known as the Unabomber had taken the time to wrap up the small, ribbon-bound package before he died. “It says right here it’s to all of us at the Federal Bureau of Prisons. ‘Xoxo, love Ted.’ Aw, he always was a sweetheart. Should we open it now, or wait until the warden gets here? Oh boy, I can’t wait. Anyone mind if I give it a shake?” At press time, the officials had reportedly decided they would all unwrap the gift together on the count of three.
Prison Officials Find Beautiful Present Left For Them In Unabomber’s Cell
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