Porn Searches, ‘Rizz,’ And Flaming Yule Burritos: This Week In Breaking News December 16, 2023

Most Common Porn Searches On Christmas

The Onion

Alabama Middle Schooler Jailed After Taking Basketball Back Out From Under Her Shirt

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Boomers Try To Define The Word ‘Rizz’

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Toyota Reveals That Any Babies Conceived In Backseats Of Their Cars Belong To Them Now

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Nation’s Leathery Old Men With Veneers Announce Plan To See You In Court

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Taco Bell Announces Flaming Yule Burrito For Christmas

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California Prospectors Rush To Midwest To Pan For Water

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Fondest High School Memories Predominantly Destruction Of Property

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Gone To The Great Convention Hall In The Sky: The Onion Remembers E3

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