,

Podiatrist A Jerk

HOFFMAN ESTATES, IL—Podiatrist Dr. Don Smithson is a “big jerk” who “talks down to you like you’re an idiot,” patient Greg Lindblad reported Tuesday. “Dr. Smithson totally scolded me for not cutting my toenails straight across—he says the ingrown toenail is my own fault,” Lindblad said. “Pardon me, Dr. Smithson. My life should revolve around maintaining proper foot care. What a dick.” Lindblad also claimed Smithson “completely chewed [him] out” for allowing his bunions to go untreated.




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper