Pete Buttigieg’s Locomotive Always Taking Up 2 Whole Parking Spots

WASHINGTON—Condemning the cabinet member for being so inconsiderate, Department of Transportation sources confirmed Wednesday that Pete Buttigieg’s locomotive was always taking up two whole parking spots. “You get one reserved parking spot, not two; I don’t care how big your vehicle is,” said Regina Merrill, one of many DOT employees who told reporters that Buttigieg had a habit of parking the train engine he drove to work diagonally across spots. “I understand that locomotives are expensive vehicles, but if he’s worried about getting a ding, he should at least park at the back of the lot so the rest of us aren’t inconvenienced. Last week, I was stuck behind him for 20 minutes while he tried to back out of the parking lot.” At press time, a police boot had been placed on Buttigieg’s locomotive for several unpaid parking tickets.