Parents Legally Change 9-Year-Old's Name To Better Reflect Current Pop Culture

EVANSVILLE, IN—Stating that it was fine, but not as contemporary as their daughter deserved, the parents of nine-year-old Britney Patterson have decided to legally change her name to something more in keeping with the times. “Britney just seems a little bit old-fashioned is all,” mother Heather Patterson said. “We want our little girl to have all the advantages a name like Miley, or maybe Hannah, would give her.” In addition to the name change, the Pattersons announced Monday that they were expecting their first son in July, tentatively named Twitter Efron Jonas.