Palace Staff Decides Not To Pack Up Funeral Stuff Just Yet After Seeing King Charles Up Close

LONDON—Griping over how long it took to carry 2,000 chairs up and down a spiral staircase, Buckingham Palace staff reportedly decided Monday not to pack up all of the royal funeral stuff just yet after seeing King Charles III up close. “Let’s just leave everything in the corner—it’s not going to be more than a few weeks anyway,” said house manager Phyllis Thomson, who made a mental note to get the royal family’s black suits, dresses, and jackets back from the dry cleaners “as soon as possible.” “We really should have kept all those flags at half-mast too. I’ll just shove these wreaths under the table. Who knows, maybe the flowers will still be alive by the time he bites it. They’re looking better than he is.” At press time, Thomson was heard commending her own judgment after hearing a loud thud in an adjacent hallway.