Overzealous Fly Not Even Waiting For Shit To Drop From Dog’s Asshole

GALENA, IL—Watching as it frantically circled its next meal with no regard for basic etiquette, insect sources confirmed Wednesday that an impatient, overzealous fly couldn’t even wait for shit to drop from a dog’s asshole. “Whoa, slow down, pal—I get that you’re excited about the fresh poop and all, but don’t you think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself?” said a local housefly, looking on with embarrassment as its fellow Musca domestica beelined it for the squatting canine, landed squarely on its anus, and buzzed excitedly as excrement began to appear. “Look, I get it, I want to eat shit and lay my eggs in it as much as the next fly, but you don’t see me climbing up any dog’s assholes for it. Seriously, that freak is so desperate. I’ll wait until the turd hits the ground, thanks.” At press time, insect sources could not be reached for comment, as the canine had reportedly eaten its own feces and all the flies.