Office Politician Runs For Coffee

DENVER–In a move his critics are decrying as “a bald-faced ploy to get in good with the secretarial pool,” Conroy Plastics & Polymers office politician John Mancuso announced Monday his intention to run for coffee. “Okay, coffee time… who’s up for a little hot java?” asked Mancuso during a 10 a.m. breakroom speech. “Make a list, and I’d be happy to swing by Starbucks and pick it up.” Upon learning that he would be picking up 14 cups, Mancuso named co-worker Andrew Sveum his running mate.