Last week, North Korea announced it would suspend nuclear weapons tests and uranium enrichment in exchange for food aid, possibly signaling a desire for renewed negotiations with the United States. Here are some other ways relations will improve:
American children will stop being taught that Kim Jong-un is descended from a long line of evil dragons
North Korea to return an American Frisbee accidentally thrown across the Demilitarized Zone in 1962
Harlem Globetrotters will establish permanent Goodwill Outpost
David Lee Roth to sing one song on North Korean Van Halen’s new album
United States will supply North Korea with four diesel generators to keep the nation’s electrical grid on at night
10 percent reduction in size of missiles shown pointing at United States in propaganda posters
U.S. film critics to be less generous regarding future trilogies by South Korean cult-thriller director Park Chan-wook
In his next speech, Obama promises to call South Koreans a bunch of pussies for not even trying to build a nuclear weapon themselves
