New Twitter Homepage Features Photo Of Erect Penis That Is Impossible To Close Out Of

SAN FRANCISCO—In one of a slew of major changes to hit the social media site, owner Elon Musk confirmed Monday that the homepage for X, formerly known as Twitter, would now feature a photo of an erect penis that was impossible to close out of. “From an intuitive perspective, not having a hard, veiny cock on the homepage simply didn’t make any sense,” said Musk, who explained that any attempt to exit the site upon seeing the explicit image would instead cause one’s browser to zoom in on the head of the penis. “You cannot block it, and you cannot report it. Sorry, this is the digital town square. We’re still working on getting it to ejaculate, but those bugs should be worked out in no time.” At press time, the announcement was met by a flurry of replies from blue-check users responding, “Excellent girth, Mr. Musk!”